Keeping your Step Parents involved in your Wedding
Planning your wedding when both your parents are remarried can be a little tricky as you won’t want to offend anyone by not keeping your Step Parents involved in your wedding. So from the beginning, you have to be respectful towards all parties and hopefully, they will be as respectful of the decisions you make during your planning.
I have pulled together a few ideas to help keep everyone happy.
If you would like both your mum and step mum to go dress shopping with you then it is okay to invite both, especially if you are close to both of them. Just give them a heads up and remind them that the occasion isn’t about their drama (if they have any), but a special moment for you that you want them both to be a part of.
If your step mum has shown an interest in helping with planning pre-wedding activities, ask both your mum and step mum to plan two separate Hen Parties/Family get-togethers for their sides of the family. This will make both mums feel included and avoid any awkwardness.
For the invites you have two options – you either don’t include any parents names or add everyone’s names (Mum, Dad and their partners). Just remember it is important to add your step-parents names on the invite if they are helping to pay for the wedding, and have been part of your life for a long time.
If you would like your dad and stepdad to be involved in walking you down the aisle then you could either have them both do it or have your stepdad walk you half way then hand you over to your dad to finish the walk with you.
Another way to include a step parent in the ceremony is to ask them to do a reading.
The Seating Plan
It is very popular with parents that are remarried to be placed at tables with their families and not at the top table. This way everyone can be more relaxed and enjoy your day.
The Toast/Thank Yous
If you and your new spouse are planning on giving a toast at your wedding reception, don’t forget to include your step parent’s when thanking your family for their love and support.
The Father Daughter Dance
If you’re close with your dad and stepdad, have a dance with both of them. It’s up to you who you dance with first depending on family circumstances. You could split a single dance between your two dads by choosing two songs and asking your DJ play a couple minutes of each. Make sure you choose special songs for each of them. Another idea would be to postpone one of the dances until later to give that dad his own moment. Whatever you decide, let them both know your decision beforehand, so their expectations are in line with your plans.
All family circumstances are unique and whatever you decide will best suit your needs. Just remember your families love you and will want to celebrate your day your way!
Paul is married to Patricia (who helped him write these Wedding Hints & Tips posts!!) and the proud Dad to 2 fantastic sons.
He has been a full-time professional photographer since 1990 and been privileged to have been asked to photograph well over 1300 weddings since then.
He worked in his own High Street Photography Studios up until December 2010 when he decided to downsize and work from home. He now splits his time between running Photography Courses and Workshops and Wedding Photography, limiting himself to 30 weddings a year to maintain the quality and high level of customer service to each of his couples.
Based in Ballyclare, Northern Ireland